Monday, September 21, 2009

Taking a Peak

Taking a Peak

I deleted my multiply account. But before I did, I just have to read my
Finally, I'm happy post.

I don't actually know why I did.

Maybe for comfort?

Finally, I'm happy.
Posted on May 7, '08 5:27 AM for everyone

Read something earlier which made my knees weak and my hands shake. After a brief moment, I laughed. Panic laugh? Not sure. It still feels weird. I immediately clicked "Lock Computer" and went down the building to stretch my legs and walk. Alone. As I was on my way to Mcdo (I eat fries and nuggets when I'm stressed), the words just kept running through my head, i love you baby.. hindi ka mahirap mahalin... masarap kang mahalin... you complete me... Those words are so familiar. I heard them before, and they were for me. Reading them for someone else is just weird. I can't even explain how I felt. I don't think its pain. It's not actually. I know I've moved on. It's not bitterness either. I was never angry at him. Maybe it's the memory of holding someone so close in the past and realizing the reality of the present that that someone is no longer part of your life, that the person is already someone else's someone...

I miss our friendship. I really do. Someone I can laugh, cry, and get angry with. I know he's happy. I can see that, and I'm happy that he is. We all deserve to be happy.

I think my laughter started as a panic laugh, but ended to be a genuine joyful smile.

Now, I can say that I'm happy. As I walked back to my building, I realized that I am already at peace. I am happy with me. I have never been this free. I have never been this spontaneous. I have never been this adventurous. I have never been more me than now. :)

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