By Michael Joseph B. Luistro
Philippine Daily Inquirer
"Triangular Theory of Love"
Passion, said Sternberg, refers to "fire and desire," those intense emotions associated especially with the beginning of a relationship. It is as if the heart cannot be contained: it yearns, covets, and demands to be with and united with the other person.
Intimacy, on the other hand, has "a foundation that is deep," which characterizes friendship, Sternberg says. When someone shares a level of intimacy with another, in this framework, one is not necessarily into physical relationship with the other. Intimacy is derived from shared experiences, especially the disclosure of personal things to the other.
Finally commitment means a person's decision to keep a relationship "in good times and in bad, no less than 100 percent". People with a very high degree of commitment stick it out, even when they face the most difficult trials, even when they feel like pulling his hair or smashing the laptop against the wall.
When we say "yes" to love, we have to keep saying "yes" every day. A great person put it this way: "It is easy to be consistent in the hour of enthusiasm; it is difficult to be so in the hour of tribulation. And only a consistency that lasts throughout the whole life can be called faithfulness."
Another great person wrote: In the end, even the "yes" to love is a source of suffering, because love always requires a denial of the "I," in which the "I" allows itself to be pruned and wounded. Love cannot exist without this painful renunciation of the "I"; otherwise there can only be pure selfishness, and love ceases to be.
Are we capable of renouncing the "I"? Is the other [person] important enough to warrant my becoming a person who suffers? Does truth matter enough to make my suffering worthwhile? Is the promise of love enough to justify the gift of myself?