I don't like my boyfriend's mother

I have been reading today about other people's experience with their mother-in-laws. Some stories were really sad and some were just plain scary. Well, as of the moment, I am not liking my boyfriend's mom. She seems to be controlling and she somewhat makes me feel like I don't know what to do with my life.

My boyfriend and I are in a place where we are high-stressed and high-pressured. We are starting up a business together and it is something that we are both very anxious of. Hearing my boyfriend's mom comment negatively all the time to the things we need to do or to the decisions we are about to make doubles up the pressure and the stress I am feeling. Of course, I want to do it right because it's my business - but at the same time - I want her to like and approve of me too.

My boyfriend's mom is a kind woman. She accepted me in their house and she treats me well. She even buys me clothes whenever she goes shopping and sees something nice for me. She is a smart woman and I could learn a lot from her - especially when it comes to managing my finances and managing the house.

After reading what other people wrote about their mother-in-laws, it made me think. I don't want to be in that position wherein I will hate my mother-in-law. In reality, conflicts will always be present - especially conflicts in the family and in-laws. My mom sure gives my boyfriend a difficult time too! We just need to learn how to appreciate each other's strength and accept each other's weakness. As with my future mother-in-law, I need to be more understanding and more open minded. I should treat her with respect and kindness and should learn all the things I should learn from her as she has good qualities too. Right now, as I think about it, it would really be difficult and tough, but I need to see this as a challenge where I should be successful and break the norm!

Stupid!

I feel like I'm going to explode. (I just wish it's the feeling down there and not up my chest!)

Heart racing and pounding. (Wishing to be sweating and pounding as well! Darn!)

Why does he have such a hold of me?

Why does he have a strong power over my emotions and thoughts?

Am I just making my own curse?

I need to let go - continuously and faithfully let go.

I think I am just stupidly in love with someone who was never meant to be mine.

Sigh. Sad.

Don't be a duck. Be an eagle

Excerpt from: The Simple Truths of Service,
by Ken Blanchard and Barbara Glanz

Great Service is a Choice

No one can make you serve customers well. That's because great service is a choice. Years ago, my friend, Harvey Mackay, told me a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point. He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey. He handed my friend a laminated card and said:
"I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk, I'd like you to read my mission statement."

Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said:

Wally's Mission Statement:

To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest, and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment

This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!

As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, "Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf."

My friend said jokingly, "No, I'd prefer a soft drink."

Wally smiled and said, "No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice."

Almost stuttering, Harvey said, "I'll take a Diet Coke"

Handing him his drink, Wally said, "If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustratedand USA Today."

As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card. "These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio."

As if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of the day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights, or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.

"Tell me, Wally," my amazed friend asked the driver, "have you always served customers like this?"

Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. "No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day. He had just written a book called You'll See It When You Believe It. Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, 'Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.'

"That hit me right between the eyes," said Wally. "Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more."

"I take it this has paid off for you," Harvey said.

"It sure had," Wally replied. "My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action."

Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all th reasons they couldn't do any of what I was suggesting.

Johnny the Bagger and Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. They decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles. How about you?

Starting Point

Change.

This is what I need.

I welcome this change.

Excited. :)

Taking a Peak

Taking a Peak

I deleted my multiply account. But before I did, I just have to read my Finally, I'm happy post.

I don't actually know why I did.

Maybe for comfort?


Finally, I'm happy.

Posted on May 7, '08 5:27 AM for everyone

Read something earlier which made my knees weak and my hands shake. After a brief moment, I laughed. Panic laugh? Not sure. It still feels weird. I immediately clicked "Lock Computer" and went down the building to stretch my legs and walk. Alone. As I was on my way to Mcdo (I eat fries and nuggets when I'm stressed), the words just kept running through my head, i love you baby.. hindi ka mahirap mahalin... masarap kang mahalin... you complete me... Those words are so familiar. I heard them before, and they were for me. Reading them for someone else is just weird. I can't even explain how I felt. I don't think its pain. It's not actually. I know I've moved on. It's not bitterness either. I was never angry at him. Maybe it's the memory of holding someone so close in the past and realizing the reality of the present that that someone is no longer part of your life, that the person is already someone else's someone...

I miss our friendship. I really do. Someone I can laugh, cry, and get angry with. I know he's happy. I can see that, and I'm happy that he is. We all deserve to be happy.

I think my laughter started as a panic laugh, but ended to be a genuine joyful smile.

Now, I can say that I'm happy. As I walked back to my building, I realized that I am already at peace. I am happy with me. I have never been this free. I have never been this spontaneous. I have never been this adventurous. I have never been more me than now. :)

Quotes from Youngblood - Real Love

Youngblood
Real love

By Michael Joseph B. Luistro
Philippine Daily Inquirer

"Triangular Theory of Love"

Passion, said Sternberg, refers to "fire and desire," those intense emotions associated especially with the beginning of a relationship. It is as if the heart cannot be contained: it yearns, covets, and demands to be with and united with the other person.

Intimacy, on the other hand, has "a foundation that is deep," which characterizes friendship, Sternberg says. When someone shares a level of intimacy with another, in this framework, one is not necessarily into physical relationship with the other. Intimacy is derived from shared experiences, especially the disclosure of personal things to the other.

Finally commitment means a person's decision to keep a relationship "in good times and in bad, no less than 100 percent". People with a very high degree of commitment stick it out, even when they face the most difficult trials, even when they feel like pulling his hair or smashing the laptop against the wall.

When we say "yes" to love, we have to keep saying "yes" every day. A great person put it this way: "It is easy to be consistent in the hour of enthusiasm; it is difficult to be so in the hour of tribulation. And only a consistency that lasts throughout the whole life can be called faithfulness."

Another great person wrote: In the end, even the "yes" to love is a source of suffering, because love always requires a denial of the "I," in which the "I" allows itself to be pruned and wounded. Love cannot exist without this painful renunciation of the "I"; otherwise there can only be pure selfishness, and love ceases to be.

Are we capable of renouncing the "I"? Is the other [person] important enough to warrant my becoming a person who suffers? Does truth matter enough to make my suffering worthwhile? Is the promise of love enough to justify the gift of myself?

The Lover and the Beloved

I am not feeling fine right now. I am struggling to make myself feel happy and moved on. Why do I feel lonely, lost, stuck?

I miss how I felt last January. I miss Henry – the Henry who was in love with Ann. I miss Ann – the Ann who was in love with him.

I think I understand what happened. I don’t want to question anything, anyone.

I believe in God. I believe in faith. I believe in prayer. I believe in purpose. I know reason. I know logic. I know reality.

I think it needs to happen. On some level, I am happy that it did.

It was not perfect.

On the way to the end, I was no longer happy. I was turned into a jealous, controlling, unreasonable, nagging being.

At the beginning I was not myself. I was afraid of making a mistake. I was too cautious that I wanted to BE perfect.

From the beginning until the end – I love him. I was the lover.

I’m not new to this feeling. I have been through worst before. I have felt crushed a thousand times over.

What is it about this time that makes it a little more difficult than the first when in truth and reality, the reason for the first is more painful and devastating?

Before, I lost my best friend, my lover, my partner, my comfort. Along with it, our hopes, dreams, plans, love. This time, what I lost was my beloved. Surely with it, I lost my hopes, dreams, plans, love.

Is it possible that losing a beloved is more painful than losing a lover?

Or is it the feeling of failure or missing a chance that makes me feel lonely, lost, stuck?

I believe in God. I believe in faith. I believe in prayer. I believe in purpose. I know reason. I know logic. I know reality.

I should be able to just understand, accept, walk away, move on.